| ||
Self Esteem, Confidence & Self HelpIt is not possible to investigate every possible method of self help for self esteem and personal confidence in a short information file such as this, so just the most popular and most effective (for most peopla) are considered here. Self Acceptance Self Acceptance This is probably one of the most important elements as far as self-esteem and confidence are concerned. There is a kind of mental 'trick' you can do that is of enormous help:
This article has several hints that will help you with all of those things. Absolutely everybody has aspects of self with which they are uncomfortable - or downright ashamed, even. Maybe they see themselves as dim or sometimes selfish, perhaps over-sensitive, under-sensitive, rude, weak... or any one of an enormous number of human behaviour patterns that can be exaggerrated out of all proportion when they cause concern. The problems arrive when somebody mentions 'that' thing and we inwardly cringe, causing our self-confidence to sag. And yet if you can accept that thing for what it is - just a part of the real you - you can begin to recognise that you are no better and no worse than the next person and you can start to revel in the uniqueness that is you! Billy... There's a story about a young man called 'Billy' which illustrates this point extremely well. Billy was by nature a talker and throughout his life people used to tell him off for it, laugh about it, call him names, tell him that 'empty vessels make the most noise' and many other confidence-sapping comments. Eventually he developed a stutter. It was a therapist who helped him to recognise that his ability to talk expressively was actually an indicator of his intelligence and therefore a huge asset, rather thatn something he should be ashamed of. You can read the full story here in an article that is very similar - though not exactly the same - to the one you are reading now. Motivation and goal-setting If you went to a railway station and asked for a ticket, the ticket clerk would want to know where you were going. You have to know where you want to go before you set out on the journey, otherwise you will have no idea how to get there - and you won't know when or if you arrive! Know where you want to go and plan your journey and things become a lot clearer. In other words, set a goal, know why you want it, understand how your life will be when you achieve it and it is much more likely to become reality. There are four rules that must be applied to any goal and not following them makes failure more likely than success. Here they are:
Plausible and Possible As long as something can be done, you can do it. If something could never be done for whatever reason, then you will never do it either. Goal setting and motivation cannot work magic or miracles but seek to use your natural resources to gain what you want. If you are 50 plus with the beginnings of arthritis, for example, you cannot become an Olympic athlete - it is simply not plausible. Suitable for Your Personality If you want to be truly successful, the goal should actually need an aspect of your personality and there should be no indicators that it would be difficult for you to achieve. If you are a perfectionist, then you will succeed where attention to detail is a major requirement; if you are by nature unfussy and easy-going, then that same goal would not be a good one for you - but something that needed a 'laid-back' approach would be. A Clear Idea Although it might seem rather obvious that you should know exactly what you are after, many people never quite work it out in enough detail to make it 'fly'. "I want to make something of myself," somebody might say, very emphatically... but there's no reference as to exactly what it is they want to make of themself! An arse? A failure? A total idiot? Of course, that's not what would be meant at all - but the subconscious doesn't know that! The subconscious (and recognise it or not, that's exactly where your success or otherwise will stem from) works only with direct statements, not the sort of implication that 'I want to make something of myself' involves. "I want to be a best-seling author," works. "I want to be a best-selling author of adventure stories," is better. Be explicit and specific - that's what gives the highest chances of success.... as long as you start writing a book. Two Self help methods No matter what type of self help method you employ, the most important thing to recognise is that there will be no change at all if you don't put some work into it. It won't drift into your life from the goodness of the universe, whatever you might have heard. It won't arrive on your doorstep because you know you deserve it or because it's your turn now, no matter what some 'guru' might tell you. The truth is that mysterious thinking rituals or listening to CDs don't on their own bring success - working at it is necessary as well. Most people are lazy and want to believe that listening to a CD or reading a book will produce success but ultimately, it has to be you who makes the changes and effort that are needed. Nobody in the world, however clever they are, can do it for you. Disappointing, perhaps, but completely true! Self Hypnosis This is something that can prodce startling results, especially in stress reduction and improvement in attitudes to life in general. There are many books on the subject and a good few free and downloadable courses available from many sites on the internet. It does have to be properly learned - although the worse thing that would happen if you only 'dabbled' would be that it didn't work. Many people are wary of hypnosis or self-hypnosis until they find out more about it. There's an excellent help file on this site that covers its use here and some further information in this rather larger document: Hypnosis File There is also an excellent 7 lesson downloadable course on self-hypnosis available, written by Terence Watts at his website: www.hypnosense.com - look in the top half of the left hand column of the site for the link. Visualisation One of the easiest ways of beginning to 'programme' your mind to get exactly what you want is to imagine as vividly as you can how it will be when you've got it. Doing that successfully sets a process in action that conveys an idea directly into the subconscious via its own language - imagination. That process can lead you towards your goal and if you do that programming in hypnosis it will create an amazing accelleration, focussing your mind and intents in a way that is otherwise impossible. It;s possible to get a good result from Visualisation simply by seeing what you want in your "mind's eye" but to get the very best out of it you should be sure to at least attempt using at least four of your five main senses. Holinf in your mind what you can see about what you want, whar you xan hear that is associated in some way with it, what smell might be involved and what the whole thing would feel like will pay massive dividends as far as findign success is concerned. Where applicable, you can add taste as well - after all, those are the five sense you experience the world with so it will much sense ot yur subconscious if you bring them into play during your Visualisationn exercises. Once you have succeeded in making your goal as vivid as you can in your thoughts and imagination, you are already moving towards it, even if you are not fully aware of that happy fact. And now you have to just turn the whole thing over to your subconscious - if you start wonering how on earth you will achieve it, you'll mees the whole thing up by bringing DOUBT into the equation. Let you subconssious work it out. It will guide you into courses of action that are designed to lead, little by little, to exactlhy what you seek. All you have to do is to take notice of the ideas and urges that you ar likely to find popping into your mind as your subconscious does its job. A lot of books and articles have been writting about this apparently magical power but most of them say pretty much the same thing. See it, believe it, and you will find it. One things that is very important os to let yourself feel exaclty how it will be when you get it - the emotional reward is what will motivate your subconscious ore than anything else. The book 'Warriors, Settlers & Nomads', by Terence Watts provides the ability to create a perfect success plan geared up to your personality - it's available from book shops or the authors own site www.hypnosense.com. Motivational therapy, and personal confidence A session or two with a motivational coach, a hypnotherapist, or good NLP practitioner can pay great dividends All over the world, huge numbers of film stars, sports participants, career climbers and entrepreneurs, amongst others, have this approach to thank for their success. Hypnotherapy and/or NLP can often provide considerably faster and longer-lasting results than coaching alone and someimtes with fewer sessions. If you decide to investigate this route, your local Yellow Pages is a good starting point; initial consultations are often at no charge, though you should make clear exactly why you are consulting.
|
